Thursday, January 2, 2014

Happy New Year

Is it time for resolutions again?  Somewhere I read that we should have resolutions for various parts of our lives: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual.  So here goes:

Well, there's always exercise.  My friend recently devised an exercise program for me that I have woefully ignored.  So I resolve not to ignore it this year.  Should I get more specific?  An hour a day four times a week seems reasonable.  A big step up from nothing...

And then there's my house.  Let's just say I have a clutter problem.  It spills onto every surface, clogs up every storage drawer, cabinet, and closet, and I don't even want to talk about my garage.  I'm not so sure this is a physical problem as much as one that affects every aspect of my life.  I'm emotionally cluttered, mentally impaired and spiritually drained every time I look around my house.  It's overwhelming.  A couple of years ago I found this great calendar that gives you a task a day--like tackling one drawer, or one shelf of your medicine cabinet.  It seemed like a good idea at the time, but like most resolutions, was ignored after about a month.  So I'm going to make it simple.  I resolve to clean out my hall closet.  Sometime this year.  And make room for some of the stuff that's spilling out onto the rest of the surfaces of my house.  If I conquer that one, I'll take on the catch-all cabinet under my kitchen counter.

I'm working on it.  My goal in this area is to remember to hang on to the good times and good memories.  On blacker days, I must remember that they will come again, and they are real and meaningful.

Write more.  Read more.  Learn all that I can.  Don't really need a resolution in this area because I would rather do this than almost anything.  Maybe my resolution should be to write less, read less, learn less, and pay more attention to the things that are right in front of me, like my family, friends, house, and community.

This may come as a surprise if you read my last post, but my spiritual resolution for now is to start a dialogue with my church.  I was raised a Catholic.  Ever since high school, I've looked for a way to escape the church.  I have been angry and disappointed and have missed the underlying teachings because of all the resentments I have held.  All the things I have tried to use as substitutions have similar failings.  No institution is perfect because each is led by human beings and we are all hopelessly flawed.  So I am willing to go back and admit that I don't know everything.  I am certain my home church still has things to teach me.  A little humility is required here, because I fear that when I surrender, the church won't reciprocate.  They won't see me and say, maybe she has something to offer us.  My pride is an obstacle.  But with Pope Francis opening doors that have been closed for most of my life, I feel the need for an opening as well.

On the flip side, another spiritual resolution may have to be to stop dwelling on things that I cannot prove or disprove, and start living in the here and now.  What does it matter if I have my spirituality all in orderly boxes when the rest of my life is in shambles?  Which leads me back to the physical realm.  Now I must pay attention to my daughter while she still wants me too.

A Happy New Year to all.  I hope it brings you hope and peace.

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