Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Loss

This Thanksgiving week has not been what I expected.  I had a beautiful vacation with my little family planned...Atlanta for a few nights, Asheville for a few nights, and back home next weekend.  God had other things planned for me.

My Aunt Crin Del died on Saturday.  She was riding a brand new candy apple red scooter that she had posted pictures of on facebook and was so excited about.  She even said on facebook that her sons assured her it would change her life.  After a wonderful day of riding with her twin sons, Nick and Nate, she made a right turn, lost control, and was hit by a car, ending her life.

I am okay.  I am in West Monroe with my dad's family.  The love in this family transcends all.  We have lost so many wonderful people way too early in the last few years.  My uncle and godfather, Mike (who my son is named after) died of HIV related illness when I was in high school.  He was probably in his 40s.  And of course, my grandmother died when I was pregnant with Isabella, 2002.  Not tragic, but sad still.  Then my father died of leukemia in 2006 at 65.  My cousins Alex and Kelly both died in the past 4 years, at both in their 30s, one of leukemia and one of a rare genetic disease.  And now my beautiful, fun loving Aunt, my godmother, who left behind a legacy of wisdom and two beautiful boys.  I feel like I need to adopt them.  

And all this on top of the loss of Edmund, my late son-in-law, who died in September, tragically and so young, who I'm still mourning, and haven't even been able to blog about yet.  It seems destined to be a difficult year.  

I wish my dad was here to be with us all.  I wish I could have known Mike better. I wish I had gone to my cousin's wedding last weekend so I could have seen Crin Del one more time.  I wish I could share with her the books that I'm writing.  I think she would have really enjoyed hearing about it.  She would have understood giving a voice to someone who had none.  She was one of my people.  

But I still have many wonderful family members left, and I am vowing to cherish every minute I can spend with them.  Difficult, maybe at times, but worth every minute of personal connection.  I love them.  Crin Del, I will miss you.  Rest in peace.

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